[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ Crickets Chirping ]
David?
[ Door Creaking ]
[ Man's Voice ] At last you've got it all,
- everything I have-- - [ Screams ]
even my life.
But you're not going to live to enjoy it.
Come with me, murderess. Come with me.
[ Screams ]
[ Screaming Continues ]
[ Man Laughing ]
- ...Pennsylvania-- - [ Birds Twittering ]
the western part of the state, was 32 degrees,
and that's a more realistic reading.
Look out again from North Dakota, South Dakota,
all across Montana, Idaho, northwestern Wyoming--
Look out for snow today.
And some of that will drip on down into northern Utah by tonight.
Here's what's happening in your world this morning.
Take a look. Our graphics department knocked themselves out.
From Billings to Rapid City, look at those temperatures.
Twenty-four degrees in Casper, Wyoming. Nineteen in Billings.
Now these are lows for this evening,
but in the meantime they've already got about 15 or 12 inches of snow...
up in the northern part of the Rockies right now, and more expected.
As you see in the western states--
really, from the Mississippi Valley all the way to the Atlantic coast--
it is clean as a hound dog's tooth.
And a quick birthday wish to Hattie Garrison...
of Montgomery County, Maryland.
She is 105 years old today.
Montgomery County Fair has a big race, only one in America.
Might check that out.
And Hermione Schwartz of Niles, Ohio,
is 100 years old--
[ Phone Ringing, Cackling ]
[ Weather Announcer Continues ]
[ Alarm Continues ]
[ Woman ] Damn it, Peter, you are late for school again.
I swear I don't understand why you can't--
- What? Hello. - set your alarm clock.
Or were you up all night watching television again?
I swear, if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times,
11:00 is bedtime.
Now I am fed up with the attendance office calling me at work with--
God.
And another thing, Peter. When are you gonna cut that padlock off your door?
I am sick and tired of having to call you every morning from the kitchen.
This business of you coming and going...
through the bedroom window has got to stop, young man.
I swear I will call a locksmith, and if I have to cut it off myself,
you will pay for it out of your allowance.
You won't let me see your room. Well, small wonder.
I'll bet you could practically grow potatoes in there.
Probably have to call the pest control--
[ Man ] "I am in blood stepped in so far...
that should I wade no more,
returning were as tedious as go o'er."
Shakespeare, of course, was the most popular playwright of his day.
He wrote for the masses,
and that's why many of his plays...
contain overt acts of violence.
Richard III,
the fourth play Shakespeare ever wrote,
contains no less than 13 murders.
Is this a gum-chewer I see before me, Mr. Cusimano?
[ Swallows ]
Uh, no, sir, Mr. Beanes, sir.
I was just trying to pick a piece of food...
I had stuck between my teeth, sir.
Oh. So you weren't chewing gum then, Cusimano?
No, sir.
Then perhaps you would be good enough...
to identify...
this.
Uh, that's not my gum, sir, I swallow--
[ Beanes Chuckling ]
So you were in fact chewing gum.
You will dispose of the evidence, Mr. Cusimano,
by swallowing it... now.
Would you prefer to meet the misters?
- [ Students Murmuring ] - [ Girl ] Gross.
[ Gulps ]
As I was saying,
as Shakespeare matured as a dramatist,
murder remained an important element of his tragedies--
which of course brings us to our assignment: Macbeth.
Unlike Richard III,
Shakespeare did not paint Macbeth in shades of pure black,
and Macbeth committed his murders...
for a different underlying motivation than did Richard.
And what was Macbeth's motivation?
I can give you the answer in one word,
one simple, three-letter word which I am sure is a part...
of all your puny, paltry, pubescent,
puerile, pedestrian vocabularies.
[ Chalk Squeaks ]
So, Mr. Brand,
I see that you've decided to grace us all...
with your illustrious presence this morning.
Time waits for no man, Mr. Brand,
neither does it wait for little boys.
And if this tardy slip does not serve...
as a reminder of that fact to you, Mr. Brand,
let me point out that if you earn just one more of these,
I'll have you right where I want you: in detention.
Sex, ladies and gentlemen.
- Sex, boys and girls-- - [ Whispering ] Do you have my homework?
[ Beanes Continues ] my little lambs.
Sex. S-E-X.
Sex was the underlying motive behind Macbeth's heinous actions.
The insidious Lady Macbeth used sex--
the promise of it, the implied, threatened denial of it--
to control and dominate her husband.
I daresay things have not changed a great deal in the last few centuries,
because men-- perhaps even some in this very room--
continue to say things, do things...
and participate in behavior they wouldn't normally dream of...
for the promise of sexual favor.
Now that I've managed to attract...
your obsessive, libido-infested attentions,
I shall return your homework.
As usual, these essays are a disgrace.
Miss Davidson, "F."
Miss Markowitz, "F."
Mr. Polinsky, "F."
Miss Wilson, F-plus. Your spelling was good.
And now we come to a most curious circumstance:
two papers that are absolutely identical,
but have different names on them.
One of the names is Peter Brand,
and the other is Cynthia Simpson.
Although such an occurrence...
is within the realm of the laws of probability,
I have another explanation for it:
plagiarism,
which, if the word is not known to either of your infantile intelligences,
is defined as "the passing off as your own the work of someone else."
So,
now I ask the burning question:
Who is the guilty party?
If neither of you will admit your guilt, both of you shall be punished for it.
[ Tapping Desk ]
- [ Paper Cutter Slices ] - Um, I-- I'm guilty.
I copied Cynthia's paper, sir.
[ Sighs ]
I am surprised, Miss Simpson.
Your paper was quite coherent.
C-plus, the best grade in the class.
As for you, Mr. Brand,
nothing is as vile, despicable, and degenerate as a plagiarist.
Now get your dissembling Publius Maximus up here...
and prepare to meet the misters!
Arms out!
Now, Mr. Brand, prepare to meet Mr. Funk,
Mr. Wagnall,
Mr. Webster,
Mr. Random,
Mr. House...
and our good friend, Mr. Shakespeare.
Kneel.
If you drop any of those books, Mr. Brand, I'll have your head.
[ Students Laughing ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
[ Cynthia ] Hi.
Boy, the Burrito sure came down hard on you this morning.
Tell me about it. My arms are still sore.
You know, what's his problem anyway?
He's perverse. I mean, you heard his lecture.
He blames everything bad on sex, Mr. Brand.
What would he know about it?
Somebody ought to do something about him.
Somebody ought to do something to him.
[ Clattering ]
[ Glass Shatters ]
Peter, what are you doing tonight?
Homework.
You want to fix Beanes?
I mean, really fix him? Mess with his head?
[ Men Shouting ]
What have you got in mind?
Have you played that new album I bought for you backwards yet?
[ Chuckles ] No. Why should I?
When you play "Blood Sausage" backwards,
there's all these great spells and incantations and stuff.
"Teacher's Threat" has got this great curse on it,
but you gotta do it exactly at midnight,
so I'll come over around 11:00.
Tonight? 11:00? My house?
[ Stammers ] You're gonna come over?
I'll be in my room.
Radical.
I'll see you around 11:00.
Oh, don't worry about the severed bat wing. I've got one.
- [ Car Horn Honks ] - [ Brakes Squeal ]
- [ Laughs ] - [ Cars Crash ]
Severed bat wing?
?? [ Rock Playing Backwards ]
[ Man ] Add dirt from a grave that is freshly dug,
and a fingertip of a dead relation by blood.
This mixture ignite at the stroke of midnight...
by the united hand of woman and man.
Do thus as is written,
and so shall the victim suffer this night...
the curse of Dalkite.
?? [ Ends ]
Curse of Dalkite?
[ Whimpers, Groans ]
Ow.
[ Groans ]
Hi.
Did I scare you?
No. No, not at all. I was just tripping over my shoelaces.
- This is your room? - Yeah. This-- This is it.
Do you think it's radical?
Yeah.
Oh, Peter.
- I hate this picture. - Oh, well, I just--
[ Stammers ]
- This is your bed, huh? - Yeah. That's my bed.
Do you use it much?
Um, C-Cynthia,
what-- what exactly is the curse of Dalkite?
- Hiccups. - Hiccups?
Yeah. The curse of Dalkite gives the victim hiccups.
I did it to my mother last week after she grounded me.
She had the hiccups for three solid days. It was hilarious.
My father finally had to take her to the hospital.
No kidding?
Yeah. Three solid days.
Can you imagine Beanes trying to recite Shakespeare with the hiccups?
It'll be a scream, I tell you.
That would be great.
Wait a minute.
Look, when you did this to your mother,
where did you get a fingertip of a dead blood relative from?
Well, actually, I didn't use a fingertip.
I used a lock of my dead grandmother's hair from the family album.
But, Peter, tonight we gotta use a fingertip.
Yeah, but where do we get one?
Where do you think?
[ Bird Squawking ]
[ Cynthia Laughs ] This is way cool.
[ Peter ] Yeah. [ Weak Chuckle ]
[ Bell Tolling ]
We gotta hurry. It's 11:30 already.
[ Peter ] Can I carry that thing for you?
- Thank you, Peter. - [ Bag Clanks ]
[ Peter ] What do you have in here? Sledgehammer?
- Shh! - What?
[ Wind Whistling ]
- [ Birds Calling ] - [ Crickets Chirping ]
I thought I heard something.
What?
An open grave.
[ Owl Hoots ]
- [ Whispering ] Get in. - What?
Get down there and get some dirt.
Uh-uh. I'm not going down there.
We need dirt from a freshly dug grave.
There's plenty of dirt on the pile right here.
- It has to be from the bottom. - Wait a minute.
I don't remember the record saying anything...
about the dirt having to be from the bottom.
Look, if you're too chicken to jump into a little hole, I'll do it.
I'm not chicken.
I just want to make sure it's necessary, all right?
Go for it.
Careful.
- See ya. - Bye.
- [ Thuds ] - Peter.
I'm okay.
Get some dirt.
- How much do we need? - Just a handful.
- Okay, now, where do I put-- - Shh!
Cyn?
No, come on. Stop kidding around.
- I got the di-- - [ Branches Rustling ]
Cyn.
- Cynthia? - [ Dog Howls ]
- [ Cynthia Stammers ] - Cynthia?
[ Ragged Breathing ]
[ Peter ] Aaah!
Stay down.
[ Man Wheezing ]
[ Mutters ]
- He's coming back! - Who?
Shh.
[ Mutters ]
[ Chuckles ]
[ Coughs ]
[ Mumbling ]
Must be the caretaker.
Look, Cyn, I think we ought to call it a night.
You can't.
Remember the record?
"United hand of a woman and man."
You are a man, aren't you?
Oh. Mmm.
So we're a team now...
till death do us part.
Death.
[ Owl Hooting ]
[ Footsteps ]
[ Cynthia ] Here it is.
The Beanes family crypt.
[ Peter ] Oh, boy.
It's locked. Darn. Well, I guess we'd better call it a night.
- Okay, sledgehammer. - Sledgehammer?
Let's check it out.
I know I'm gonna regret this.
[ Hinges Creaking ]
[ Cynthia Grunts ]
[ Peter ] Ooh.
Do I smell what I think I smell?
Look at this place.
It's perfect.
Everything we need is here.
[ Wick Hisses ]
[ Blows On Match ]
[ Cement Scraping ]
Severed bat wing.
Katydids.
[ Rattles ]
Graven image.
What?
The picture of Beanes in the yearbook.
Rosewater.
[ Chuckles ]
Dirt from a freshly dug grave.
And now the pièce de résistance:
fingertip of a blood relative.
[ Dog Howls ]
[ Peter ] Guess we have to do this, huh?
[ Pot Bubbling ]
[ Creaking ]
- Damn. Wrong side. - [ Bell Tolls ]
It's midnight!
We gotta finish before the clock strikes 12:00.
Get the fingertip.
- But you mean that I-- - [ Bell Tolls ]
Hurry up.
[ Bell Tolls ]
Mmm. Mmm.
[ Bell Tolls ]
What's taking so long?
[ Stammers ] The shears aren't sharp enough.
- [ Bell Tolls ] - Put some muscle into it.
[ Bell Tolls ]
- That's seven already. - [ Groans ]
I'm trying to. It just--
[ Moans ]
[ Bell Tolls ]
Eight.
[ Bell Tolls ]
Nine.
- [ Grunts ] - [ Bell Tolls ]
- Ten. - [ Screams ]
- [ Bell Tolls ] - Eleven.
- [ Moaning ] - Throw it in!
- [ Whooshing ] - [ Bell Tolls ]
[ Both Screaming ]
[ Cynthia Gasps ]
[ Cynthia Screaming ]
[ Groans ]
[ Wheezing ]
[ Belches, Mutters ]
[ Peter ] There it is-- The house of Beanes.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
[ Owl Hoots ]
Look. There's a light on.
I'll bet the hiccups woke him up.
He's probably trying to get rid of 'em.
[ Cynthia ] Let's wait till tomorrow to see if this really worked.
Tomorrow? [ Chuckles ]
After what we just went through? Come on.
[ Gate Creaking ]
[ Frog Croaking, Hiccupping ]
[ Croaking, Hiccupping Continue ]
[ Cynthia ] I can hear him, but I can't see him.
[ Croaking, Hiccupping Continue ]
[ Croaking, Hiccupping ]
[ Peter ] Look.
- [ Croaks, Hiccups ] - [ Cynthia ] Oh.
Only Beanes would name a frog Shakespeare.
[ Mews ]
- [ Mewing Continues ] - [ Peter ] Give me the flashlight.
[ Cynthia ] What?
[ Thunderclap ]
Oh, my God. We killed him!
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
[ Glass Shatters ]
Turn on the light.
[ Peter Groans ]
There's nothing. He's a goner, and we're responsible.
Don't jump to conclusions. People drop dead all the time.
Oh, yeah? Then how do you explain that?
The clock stopped exactly at midnight.
Look, we should just go home and forget all this.
- Wha-- - Let the police deal with this.
Are you crazy? My fingerprints are all over him.
Your fingerprints are on the door and the light switch.
You know, we could get the electric chair for this.
[ Cynthia ] You can't get the chair for killing a teacher.
- You can't? - No.
You get the gas chamber in this state.
- I'm leaving. - No. Look-- We killed this man.
We did this together. We're in this together.
"Till death do us part," remember?
[ Cynthia ] Okay. What do we do?
I don't know. I think--
Wish there was a spell that would bring him back to life.
There is. Look.
Side two, cut three--
[ Together ] "The Dead Shall Rise."
[ Thunderclap ]
[ Man ] Place the mixture at the toes...
of the victim in repose.
And to this confection add the water of resurrection.
Thus come Dalkite's demise, and thy victim shall arise.
Dalkite's demise.
If this doesn't work, nothing will.
I think I found everything we need.
Look, I still say we should just lay him on the couch.
He has to be in repose, which means "in bed."
- You want to take chances on the instructions? - No way. I just--
Cynthia, look. What if this doesn't work?
No problem.
That means the curse of Dalkite didn't kill him--
- [ Grunts ] - we're off the hook...
and we're free of Beanes forever.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
[ Cynthia ] The plucked feather.
The unpeeled orange.
Soapstone.
Salt.
Graven image.
- [ Cynthia ] Come on, hurry up. - I found it, okay? Just--
You tore his head off.
Cool it.
[ Cynthia ] Now all we need is the water of resurrection.
French mineral water?
It's either that or tap water.
[ Thunderclap ]
[ Wind Roaring ]
Mr. Beanes?
Are you alive?
So how long does it take for the dead to rise?
I guess it could take up to three days.
[ Beanes Inhales ]
[ Coughs ]
[ Inhaling, Exhaling ]
Mr. Brand. Miss Simpson.
Prepare to meet the misters!
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
[ Cynthia Whimpering ]
This can't be happening, all right? It's gotta be a hallucination.
[ Door Creaking ]
[ Peter Whimpers ]
Where do you two think you're going?
- [ Beanes Laughing ] - Come on!
[ Peter Groans ]
[ Knob Rattling ]
[ Both Moan ]
Can't you see it's locked? Use your head, man.
- Ow! - [ Cynthia Moans ]
It won't open.
Damn!
You won't escape my...
fury, children!
- Here I come! - [ Cynthia ] Oh!
[ Cynthia Whimpering ]
- [ Peter Shouts ] - Aaah!
I'm caught.
Why aren't you home doing your homework, Miss Simpson?
At a time like this, you're thinking about sex, Mr. Brand?
[ Beanes ] Get down here!
What's the matter, are you blind?
- [ Cynthia Moaning ] - They're getting away!
For heaven's sake, jump!
Hurry up! Jump!
Hurry, you brainless idiot. Jump!
Hurry, will you? Hurry!
[ Groans ]
[ Cynthia Gasps, Moans ]
[ Both Scream ]
You two will never escape my wrath.
[ Beanes Laughing ]
[ Screams ]
[ Laughing ]
- [ Growls ] - Aaah! Aaah!
[ Peter Babbling ]
Get it off! Get it off!
- [ Cynthia Screams ] - [ Beanes, Muffled ]
[ Cynthia ] Kick it off!
[ Screaming ]
Ooh, whoo, whoo!
Okay. I'm gonna get the bus, okay?
Stop! Stop!
Stop!
- [ Groans ] - Peter, you better get on here.
- Run! - Wait!
Hurry! Hurry, you fool!
Hurry! Aaah!
So, Mr. Brand.
[ Groans ] Please, no!
It wasn't my idea.
She made me do it.
Sex made you do it, Mr. Brand!
You should have paid attention to Macbeth instead of Cynthia.
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
Time waits for no man, Mr. Brand.
Faster, you fool!
Brand! I wanna hurt you!
I'll get you for this!
[ Laughing ]
I'm right behind you.
- Hah! - [ Whimpers ]
I see you haven't done your homework, Mr. Brand!
[ Groans ]
[ Wind Whistling ]
[ Thunderclap ]
I want to see you in detention, Mr. Brand.
[ Moans ]
[ Ringing, Cackling ]
[ Ringing, Cackling Continue ]
Uh--
[ Woman ] Damn it, Peter, you are late for school again!
Every morning it is the same thing over and over.
Late for school, late for school.
Now move it, young man.
And by the way, when are you gonna cut that padlock off your door?
[ Door Opens, Slams ]
Hah! Mr. Brand.
You're tardy again,
so I finally have you where I want you, Mr. Brand:
in detention!
Mr. Beanes, you--
Detention's fine, just as long as you're okay.
Well, actually, I have a bit of a sore throat.
[ Laughing ]
[ Whimpering ]
[ Laughing Continues ]